Saturday, 14 January 2017


I flick through a pharmacopoeia folded yellow paper highlights emerge, relapse - prolapse, so forth. The fish pie - furring over - a pale-green fur...SLIME! Shit stain sheets removed, intravenous – tapped, pumped full of benzodiazepines - sweat shimmer in the shite I stare at faces, nothing more! Back on the rack - back cracked and creaked with the rack - drip dripped I dwell and dwindled, act among the course - corned beef, with its anaemic skin. Odour – ammonia machinations, mentions Moorside, parallax projections paralysis follow - paranoiac projections etc., oral objections, fuck off the ward - resume, free up the rack, so to speak, drip will stop. Seeping pores - a slimy sweat, the ward took on a warped definition, clogging coiling tubes issuing out black blood beyond foolish despair, nightmares continued, old men died slowly farting as they went. Heart racing - pulse slow – skin a cracked desert of lines - I stared into them, deepened blue Stilton complexion - Pass out – burnt out boiling, so to speak, dreamless sleep followed, delirium puke – black formations – wasp-like whispers icy fire burning flesh - greasy Gamma seeping spewing shit - death linger language - nonsense now – visceral viscid heat ignite notions of abnormality - fucked finished, a nurse forces in another pricked cord, eyes take on a yellow hue - crawling skin - ashamed a smell rises falls - rises falls - filth disinfectant follows. Shit is a stubborn stain - matter matron? Matter? Made flesh renal repel fleshed out cropped warts withered mind muddled by obsessive compulsions - compulsive obsessions - slaughterhouse of retched inanities, noxious undernourished flesh taking on a green tint. Broken retention, drip still dripping – QUACK! Hydrochloric vomit reptilian yack - scratching the barrel - dry discharge -ethylene tickle unceasing. Passing out again, so to speak, vomit followed - hysterical – voicelessness - arctic flame - fiery flesh oily Gamma oozing faecal matter expiring communication tortured today – sticky heat erupt. Another nurse forces in another pricked line - eyes take on a pink hue - creeping peeling - numerous remarks – predictions - palsy followed. Paranoid projections pissed up the wall. The psyche is never hatched, nor does it ever cease, nor does it turn later state hatched. For it is unhatched, ageless, perpetual and primal even though the body is dead, the psyche is not – humiliation – mutilation stimulate neurotic obsessional - abattoir spasm - degrading malnourished - taking on a another tone, memory trickles till dripping intravenous - bound with tubing - cerebral – paralysis. I pause to record I feel retched of course always have. Enough! Humour withered - wired full of anxiolytic, stew shine in the shite I gaze, nothing more! Back on the frame, back chapped and creaking with the wrack the dribble dripped I brood, and diminish - pink eyes act among the course - cured meat - rind ripped raw - before its time - tiny little time - slippery secretion - the ward took on a another definition - spiralling tubes - absurd desperation - demented dreams continued. Elderly hands ceased quickly screaming as they went - pumped full - stuffed with cotton wool. Sheets still soiled – incrustations, streaked with silt -the bed-frame creaked with the rhythm of a spine - twisting deformation myriad of memories festering in the corners of a mind - encrusting insects crept across flesh. A conical shade protrusive steaming vegetation - stomach fluttering dry dust in a fine skim. The sleep I did get - was inconceivable in its delirium - Moorside followed.

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